let's just think this through. like adults.

Bush is elected
-We are all Assfucked.
-He's gonna mount the world like a buckin' bronco; straight into nuclear oblivion.
-Cheering hicks.
-Possibility of Lib'rull pogroms in deep South.
-The fucking smirk x10.

-Well, that's the end of the American Empire. Massive deficits. Outsmarted by bin Laden. Monkeys everywhere.
-Masochists will have a field day.
-If Iraq/Global Economy/Saudi Arabia/Oil Prices all blow up, Republicans won't be showing their faces for decades.
-He'll probably be impeached for something.
-He's the prez you love to hate. A great recruitment tool.
-Ah, fuck, let's drink.

Kerry is elected
-This slick dude has no fucking idea what he's in for.
-Possibly more hawkish than Bush. Plus he might be smart enough to pull off a new Imperialism.
-If he botches Iraq/Global Economy/Saudi Arabia/Oil Prices due to Bush's legacy, Republicans won't let Democrats show their faces for decades.
-He'll probably be impeached for something.
-Possibility of Civil War II.

-No mo' smirk!!!!!!!! Kerry couldn't possibly be as annoying as Bush.
-Kerry's not as apocalyptic. Not as likely to blow up the world.
-At least domestic issues will be a little more pleasant for Americans.
-Blubbering hicks. Ha!
-Actually no. I'm sick of hating Bush. Time for someone new.
-Let's drink!!!

Nader is elected
-none. Except of course that there is still a president of the United States.

-Nader being elected is a definite sign that I am on drugs. And drugs are fun. Also, the window is melting.

*apologies to everyone. this is black humour. not very good either. Enjoy the spectacle tomorrow.


At 12:53 a.m., Blogger inkheart said...

dude, i hope you hooked up with folx last night at the bar. i was too bloody exhausted.

not that i feel any better now. unbelievable. 60 million trained seals clap on command and a trained monkey gets elected as president of the war. boycott america etc., i'm going to bed.

funny post tho.


At 2:47 p.m., Blogger Alex said...

the thing about bush actually being elected is that you get the smirk x 10 immediately whereas you have to wait around for a while for the end of the empire and the monkeys and all that. what a bummer.

At 8:52 p.m., Blogger eric said...

alex... too true... which is why i have put myself on a strict media regimen for the next couple days. Nothing but live music and newspaper real estate inserts.
D.C., eh? jesus... mood must be like a state funeral right now. Good luck out there!


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